This year's overall winner of the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest (he of the 'Dark and Stormy Night' fame) is Molly Ringle. Her submission:
For the first month of Ricardo and Felicity's affair, they greeted one another at every stolen rendezvous with a kiss--a lengthy, ravenous kiss, Ricardo lapping and sucking at Felicity's mouth as if she were a giant cage-mounted water bottle and he were the world's thirstiest gerbil.
More examples here. Our favorite is the winner of the Detective segment. Do your best to read this without thinking immediately of
Guy Noir; bet you can't!
She walked into my office wearing a body that would make a man write bad checks, but in this paperless age you would first have to obtain her ABA Routing Transit Number and Account Number and then disable your own Overdraft Protection in order to do so.
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